Just some Quotes and Graffiti that I find funny!

Spike Milligan: 

Spike Miliggnoon, the well known spelling mistake!

I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Churchill:

Churchill vs Lady Nancy Aster in parliament.

Sir, if you were my husband I’d poison your coffee!

Madam, if you were my wife I’d drink it!

Mr Prime Minister Sir, you are drunk!

I may be drunk Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly!

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, worst of it is that half of them are true.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else!

If this is a blessing, it’s certainly very well disguised!

General George S Patton:

No man ever won a war by dying for his country. Wars were won by making the other poor bastard die for his.

You don’t win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his.

I’d rather have a German division in front of me, than a French one behind.


Some others:


Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic!

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff!

Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a good woman. Behind her is his wife!

Some people complain that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Any time you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. Kierkegaard

Graffiti

Concord advert: Breakfast in London, Lunch in New York!       Baggage in Bermuda!

On a bus stop outside a London church:  Where will you be on the day of Judgement? Still waiting for the 27 bus!

Do not adjust your mind, there’s a fault in reality!

If god wanted to give the world an enema, he’d stick the tube in Benidorm!

How many surrealist’s does it take to change a light bulb? – A fish!